(This story comes to us from Jeremy Balli in Modesto, CA)
Billy used to weigh 600 lbs. and his mom told him "Baby, you're morbidly obese.” to which he replied, "What's so morbid about it?"
A cheeky remark like that cost him big time, no pun intended. His mom, normally a nice woman, locked him in the garage with a broken Buick.
The Buick, wasting away with him, became petrified after 10 years of neglect. He emerged from the garage a human flag, weighing 140 lbs.
His skin was stretched so that on a windy day, it waved in the air and all of the neighborhood cats put their paws to their heads in salute.
Often, his skin would lead and his legs would trip over them. Boy did his mom feel foolish, locking him away to starve. Her bad i suppose.
He was always a very lonely boy and he cried to me and said "you're the only friend I have in the world."
I thought the world must be a small place if i'm the only friend in it. I suggested surgery to rid himself of the excess skin. He did it.
The doctors cut the excess skin and used it to make tents at the old shanty town just north of home where the homeless were grateful.
He had stretch marks. I glanced at him in the lockeroom and saw that his body resembled a freeway; with off-ramps, on-ramps and junctions.
Billy pointed to his left nipple. "That's my house." I was saddened but also relieved that, at last, Billy had become useful.
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