Primal Artistry

This is from my brother Michael Beard, and I LOVE it! You can follow him on twitter @virgovibes.

The gallery owner was a slightly stout woman with a friendly disposition. Although in the business to make money, she made a few exceptions.

Young artists, struggling for exposure, brutally rebuffed elsewhere, were given a featured spot, one at a time, once a month, for publicity.

One such artist painted the misery of dying animals in hues of grey, green, and blue. Mainly dogs and cats yowling in relentless misfortune.

The gallery owner, being of a sweet nature, flinched at the subject matter, but nevertheless tried to find pleasure in its weighty palate.

For a whole month she stared at the paintings on the distinguished wall, and every day tried to find the reverse, abstract meaning in them.

But try as she might, all the paintings ever proved to be were heart-breaking. She could find no pleasure in the suffering of small animals.

As she found herself one rainy day at the front door of the space, sipping tea, a stray cat meandered up and presented itself and stretched.

"Hello, friend," she said. The cat said nothing, but rubbed itself against her leg, vibrating in pleasure. She reached down for to touch it.

As she felt it's fur, slightly marred by street grease, she thought of the cruelty she'd been exposed to by the young, insensitive painting.

She stood up straight, and without a second thought, kicked the poor animal as hard as she could. At long last she felt release. And smiled.

Watch For Falling Rocks.

Two days before the meteor struck, a giant wave of psychic energy passed over the Earth. Almost 30% of the population shared the same dream.

The New York Post broke the story under the headline "Cthulu Calls", in reference to a similar event heralding the return of an ancient god.

The dream consisted of two parts. In the first, each sleeper found themselves in a large field crowded by people from every nation on earth.

A large bell (or in some reports, a gong) sounded followed by several seconds of silence. Then, like a football stadium wave, everyone fell.

The second part of the dream differs in some reports. Most of the seers found themselves in dark, yawning caverns, alone and unable to hear.

But the others wandered through the field of fallen bodies collecting photos and heirlooms, which they then ate and absorbed like nutrients.

Famous psychics around the world, eternal optimists that they were, attempted to explain the dream and why it was different for a small few.

The day the pebble hit our planet, when all infrastructure fell apart and over 6.2 billion people were erased, it was still front page news.

There are no longer any newspapers. There is no television. No radio. No phones. Our nearest neighbor is 123 miles away. We don't talk much.

Estimates put population at under 500 million, which, according to the fabled Georgia guidestone, puts us in balance with nature. Finally.

Murder: Because It's All I Have To Give. (#1)

I watch him. I know his entire routine. The duration of his average bowel movement, how long he brushes his teeth, how often he masturbates.

I follow him on facebook, twitter, and lost.fm. He doesn't know my plan. He's never even met me. But soon, that will all change. We'll meet.

I developed the plan before I decided on a subject. It was simple: 1. Choose a Subject. 2. Collect Data. 3. (and here's where it gets good)

I have taken the cord from a video game controller. He likes video games. With that I will garrote him until he passes out cold as a junkie.

Once I have him in the room that I've prepared I'll use the same ligature to bind him to the metal pipe that runs up the center of the room.

There I'll have a palette of tools for my endeavor. A full pack of smokes to create patterns on his skin, a brand I've created just for him.

I've filed nails so finely that when driven into his skin he'll not bleed. Electricity run into them through wire will cauterize the wounds.

I'll then remove the nails to reveal a small design made of perfect windows into his body, clear enough to peer into and investigate inside.

The best for last. I've fitted small headphones to an amp capable of powering a tone at 200 decibels, all that's necessary to destroy a man.

The blood that exits from the ear will create the final splash of color, but first to meet him. Travis Laird. BillZilla. Now! He approaches!

Senseless violence must always be tragic.

I came to in a chair, my arms bound behind. My legs were spread; two ropes ran around them then to the rope on my wrists keeping them apart.

From the fog that clouded my memory and the sensation that my brain was being pecked at by a murder of crows I could tell I'd been drugged.

I heard a noise some feet away and tried to speak. That is when I noticed the tape sealing my mouth. Drugs be damned, my heart raced wildly.

From the shadows came a voice. "The sedative will wear off soon, then we can begin." I struggled violently but became nauseous, so I ceased.

My mind began to clear and I made a list of enemies, anyone who would want to hurt me. But did that matter if I couldn't escape? Not at all.

I tried to take stock of my surroundings, but the light was so low that I could've barely seen my hands had I been able to lift them at all.

"It's important for the sedative to be out of your system completely if you are to truly feel the pain you are about to receive." Footsteps.

Those were the last words he said. A moment later I felt my side open up. I bucked in the chair, but no use. A small blade tore at my cheek.

I bore several small cuts and felt blood run over my skin. I began to sweat, and could feel the tape on my mouth loosen, liberating my lips.

The last sound I heard? The change of instruments, a scratching of metal. My chest split, a hand around my heart, I lost my sight and slept.

A Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain

I learned a lot the first time I died. I was 240 years old, and by that point thought myself impervious, so it came as quite a shock to me.

One hot night in 1192 I was taking a walk in the garden of my host. I was on holiday in Marrakech, Morocco and it was too sweltry to sleep.

After the dusty and carnivorous smells of the marketplace, it was a comfort to breathe in the jasmine that created a border of white blooms.

I bent to squeeze a toadflax bud and watched with joy as its violet petals exited their hiding place. 240 years had not robbed me of wonder.

Standing again, I knew someone was behind me. I turned to find a beauty with almond eyes in a long silk garment smiling at me. I turned red.

My tongue stumbled over an introduction. "I know who you are," she said. I asked her source of knowledge. She did not respond, but moved in.

"You are much more handsome than I imagined," she said. Then her arm was around me, her leg between my own pair. My loins responded eagerly.

She shuddered against me in pleasure. I dared to reach up and touch her soft breast and then I felt it: a burning in my back. No, a ripping.

The knife tore up my back. "Did you think an abomination such as yourself could walk unnoticed among God's children?" she demanded, smiling.

I have suffered several violent deaths, mostly at the hands of religious fanatics, but I learned to allow the pain to bring me back to life.

Alien? But, baby...

"Do you come here often?" The second the words escaped my lips I knew exactly how stupid I sounded. I mentally slapped my forehead in shame.

"No. It's my first time." I had trouble placing his minor accent. "I just arrived here." So he was new in town. Who doesn't love fresh meat?

"Oh? Where are you from?" This was not one of my finer pickups, but I was too horny to care. He didn't know, but he was coming home with me.

"You've never heard if it. Want to get out of here?" I was shocked. I am used to being the aggressor even if my lines are sometimes cliched.

We wasted no time leaving and hailing a taxi. The ride to my place was spent sparring spastically with our tongues. Based on points, he won.

Once inside I removed my clothes quickly, but he stalled. I tried to remove his pants, but he stopped me. "I should tell you..." he started.

My mind raced through terrible scenarios. He has HIV, or worse, herpes. He's got a vagina. Something horrible. "I'm not from here," he said.

I was flooded with relief. "I know. You told me." I reached again to undo his jeans, but he wouldn't let me. "No," he said, "I'm an alien."

"It's cool," I told him. "My grandparents were immigrants." He tried to reject my hand from his button fly but I was too fast to be stopped.

He was alien indeed. It was pretty in color, but terrifying. So I put on a blindfold and let him fuck me. And that's why I need an abortion.

Billy, The Human Flag

(This story comes to us from Jeremy Balli in Modesto, CA)

Billy used to weigh 600 lbs. and his mom told him "Baby, you're morbidly obese.” to which he replied, "What's so morbid about it?"

A cheeky remark like that cost him big time, no pun intended. His mom, normally a nice woman, locked him in the garage with a broken Buick.

The Buick, wasting away with him, became petrified after 10 years of neglect. He emerged from the garage a human flag, weighing 140 lbs.

His skin was stretched so that on a windy day, it waved in the air and all of the neighborhood cats put their paws to their heads in salute.

Often, his skin would lead and his legs would trip over them. Boy did his mom feel foolish, locking him away to starve. Her bad i suppose.

He was always a very lonely boy and he cried to me and said "you're the only friend I have in the world."

I thought the world must be a small place if i'm the only friend in it. I suggested surgery to rid himself of the excess skin. He did it.

The doctors cut the excess skin and used it to make tents at the old shanty town just north of home where the homeless were grateful.

He had stretch marks. I glanced at him in the lockeroom and saw that his body resembled a freeway; with off-ramps, on-ramps and junctions.

Billy pointed to his left nipple. "That's my house." I was saddened but also relieved that, at last, Billy had become useful.